Have you ever noticed that love is something that can come and go…especially when you are loving the wrong person? But love shouldn’t be that way.  Love should always be there no matter the circumstances.  You will always know love once you find it in yourself.  That’s that self-love.

We find ourselves so consumed with the love of others, or making others love us.  It is hard to find a love that doesn’t make you mad.  A love that is kind. A love that doesn’t blame.  A love that is genuine.  True love.

Our parents can give us the best love one could ever ask for; however, as we grow, we start to look for love in others.   We start to seek that same agape love from another man or woman, hoping to experience something so real.  We want the type of love that, when we fall, it catches us.   When we are hurt, that love heals our pain.  When we are sad, a love to make us feel as though everything will be ok.  And when we are discouraged, a love to make us feel like we are on top of the world.

Love is an amazing thing…when it is real.

But, once again, love is a word/feeling that comes and goes.  ONLY, when you seek it from others.

I am here to tell you that sometimes the BEST love is self-love.

Feeling happy when others succeed in disappointing you can only come from having self-love.  Before you can love another person, you have to love yourself.  You are sometimes the only person who can pick yourself up when you fall.  When you hurt, you have to first heal yourself because someone will come along to hurt you again.  Only you can mend and heal those wounds caused by another person.  Although the tears may fall when you are sad, you still have the ability to smile through the tears.

Loving ourselves takes time.

Sometimes we can give so much love – unconditional – to someone else.  Only to not receive that same love back.  How disappointing can that be? Very.  We look past a person’s faults so much that we become blind to the constant faults they see in us.  We work so hard towards their perfection that we begin to neglect our own.  There is nothing wrong with building up another person, but there is something wrong when we begin to allow ourselves to be torn down in the process.

Focus on you…yes, you…love you, yes, YOU…FIRST.  Don’t depend on anyone, but YOU, to make YOU happy.  Don’t lose yourself in someone else.  Lose yourself in you.  So that when that love you depended on from someone else magically disappears, you will still have your first love to pick you and the pieces of your heart up and put them back together.  Nobody said love would be easy but once you love yourself, getting over disappointments will be a piece of cake.

I’ve been there before.  Seeking love in others before I sought it in myself.  It’s a constant rollercoaster and battle to search for true love…but that is ONLY the case when you are searching for it in others.  We should never have to fight ourselves for love.


I’ll use 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 to help me finish my post.

Love is patient, love is kind. So be patient with yourself.  You are a work in progress.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Be kind to yourself.  You only have one mind, soul, and body.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. If you love yourself, you will know how to love others even when you feel as though they have done or are doing you wrong.  Loving ourselves will eliminate those who may upset us and then, just let them be.  If they loved themselves, they wouldn’t do you wrong in the first place.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  The wicked ways of people isn’t something to partake in.  Love yourself and experience the true joys of doing right.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And above all else, protect your heart, trust your heart, and hope for the best.  No matter what storm may come your way, your love will carry you through it.

Remember jewels, be your first and last love.

Don’t be a hard rock when you truly are a gem.